Stephanie, Me, and Derek when we got to the hospital on Tuesday night.
Before the real fun began.
I have been thinking over the past few weeks of how truly lucky I am. Some people looking at my life may not view me as being lucky, but I think I am. Sure, I have had lots challenges and heartaches but those things have taught me a great deal and have brought me to this time in my life. I WOULD LOVE to have my Mom and brothers here, but I cannot and I cannot change that.
So, why you may wonder how I view myself as lucky? I have some amazing friends, family, HUSBAND and baby boy. It is such an amazing feeling when you know people are genuinely happy for you and your joy. Derek and I have been through lots of trials and tribulations. We waited a long time for this baby. AND now that he is finally here, we are so happy. And we can tell that people are TRULY happy for us. It is not just that feeling of people saying nice things because they are suppose to say them, but the sincere words, gestures and touch that we know our happiness is shared. How many people can say that they have those kind of support people in their lives?
I have to talk about Stephanie for a minute. She is like a sister to me. We have been through a lot together, and I am so lucky to have her and her family in my life. She is amazing and so generous. Steph was in the delivery room with us and provided not only me so much support but also Derek. She stayed and helped all day. THEN on Christmas Day she came to the ER when I was sick. She has 2 little girls of her own, and gave up spending the day with them and her family to help take care of Derek, Landon and myself. I can never repay her for all that she has given us the past couple of weeks, but I love and treasure her dearly. She is one of those friends that will last a lifetime and be such a special Aunt to Landon.
Then there are the friends that were not necessarily in the room or with us every step of the way, but supported us none the less. They called or texted to see how we all were doing. We were amazed at the out pouring of love and generosity again. Thank you to all those people..you know who you are.
Finally, I must talk about my amazing husband. (Save the best for last, right?) I have always loved Derek and our love has grown over the years. We started out as friends first and built our relationship on that foundation. We have supported each other through the tough times. We have felt our relationship tested and we have celebrated coming out on the other side. BUT I have NEVER felt so MUCH LOVE for him as I have the night Landon was born and throughout the delivery. I did not know it was possible. He was so very STRONG for us as a family. I was incapable of doing things or hiding my pain, fear and emotions (like I tend to do), and he did not budge. He was scared too but he stayed strong and supportive for the both of us.
When Landon was born, and they placed him on my stomach. We were all over joyed. The emotions of pure happiness, relief, love, joy and amazement were all bundled into one because of this precious baby that we had made. Derek and I looked at each other and just sobbed. Few words were spoken, except "I love you." Other words besides that were not needed. I could see it all in Derek's eyes. I could see why I chose this man as my husband and now the father of our child. I love you , Derek.
So you see I am lucky. Oh, sure I want people here that cannot be here. But I know my Mom or my brothers would not want me to dwell on that. They would not want me to overshadow this moment with the sadness I feel about them not being here.
I remember my Mom telling me before she died, how she wanted me to have a baby. We had talked about it a lot. She knew the names of it was to be a boy or girl. She told me how much joy and happiness she thought it would bring to all of us, and how I deserved to have that. Once again, mothers know best and she was right.
No comments:
Post a Comment